Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
