i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
