do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
