Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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