Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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