I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
