I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize