..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
