thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
