if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
