I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
