Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
