At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
