This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
