im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
