I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
