i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
