Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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