after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
