girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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