a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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