we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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