and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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