is your mom at the bar?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
