Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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