Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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