everyone is single if you try hard enough
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
