ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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