Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
its not stalking. its research.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
