Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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