And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize