My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
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