Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My vagina is very pro this idea
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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