I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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