im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
