is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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