Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i out mim tonsoeep
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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