Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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