i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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