Whod you bang
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
