pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it glows. i had to have it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
