Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
