so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
