Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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