So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
