just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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