I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
