I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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