Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
