Whod you bang
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
