i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
