Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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