Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
