I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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