Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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