These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I would fuck him just for his dog
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
