i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize