i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
