I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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