Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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