all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
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during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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