Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
